Learning to forgive to move on

[Jessica LaChance]

How do you forgive someone for something they did if they have never shown remorse for what they did and is no longer alive to answer all the unknown questions about what happened? 

Trying to move on to be happy is driving me insane because the one person who hurt me the most cannot and has not apologize for what they did. Losing everything from a home, a vehicle, and distance between family has made it hard to believe in God and to forgive people for the things they did to me. I feel like i'm alone in all this.

[Judy Davidson]

Thank you for sharing your feelings, Jessica.  Yes, forgiveness is tough for everyone; especially for people in your situation.  I heard that we extend forgiveness - not for the other person's benefit, but for our own ... to make our heart lighter so we can eventually feel better, move on in our life etc...  Please check out the videos I posted in the blogs on the Home page.  Many are by my pastor Rick Warren who lost his son last year.  I hope you find some hope and comfort here and through www.GriefShare.org.

Warmly,

Judy Davidson

Founding member   

[Lulu]

I use to be in the same situation expect for me the person is still alive at least i think he is. I lost everything my home, car, financial stability I was so angry at that person i wished him dead. For many years i held the anger and hate inside me. I'm a great believer  of Gods faith I prayed hard i needed to be set free of the hate and anger I didn't want to live that way because as you know its consuming. I know sometimes its hard to believe in God  if you trust in him in the end of the day he will lift you through anything.

I get daily emails from griefshare I want to share the one below hope its helpful .

“BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger” (Ephesians 4:26 NASB).

The Bible instructs you to be angry! Anger by itself is not a sin, and it is one of the most common emotions associated with grief.

“I went through that shock and denial period for about three months,” says Dora after the death of her daughter. “Then suddenly, as the shock wore off and the reality set in—anger. Intense anger. Just wanting to wail, to scream from the depths. There’s no way I could express as much anger as I was feeling.”

You need to release your anger in a way that is productive for healing and not harmful to others around you. To release your anger does not mean to lash out, to throw a fit, or to lose control of it; releasing your anger involves the open and honest expression of your emotions in a way that is physically, mentally, and emotionally freeing. You can do this by expressing your anger to God in prayer (don’t hold back!). You can release your anger in the presence of a person who will listen quietly and neither judge nor offer advice. Another healthy way to release anger is to write down every angry thought that comes to mind until you cannot think of another angry sentence to write. Some people find that expressing their anger out loud, and loudly, in a private place is helpful.

The fact that you should “not let the sun go down on your anger” means you should deal with it when it is present. Don’t go to sleep and forget it, only to have it come back in greater strength later.

Holy Spirit, grant me the freedom and opportunity to release my anger in a way that helps, not hurts. Amen