Loss of husband

[Jacqueline Horowitz]

I am new to this site.  I have lost my husband 9 months ago and find the pain intolerable.  The only thing that seems to help is talking to people who are experiencing the same torture.  Does anyone have and adive to lessen the pain?

[james ball]

Hi Jacquel

I am so sorry for your loss Jacqueline so very sorry. I know it hurts so much  I am so sorry you have to go endure this pain

but unfortuniately  there is no cure for all this pain no magic portion . the only way through it is through it

and Jacqueline I feel your pain so much I lost my wife 8 months ago and I know what you are going through

I will tell you this  the way that helps me the most is getting your pain validated and that is what talking to people helps

take good care of your self as if you just got out of I c u cause we are in recovery plenty of selfcare

[Jacqueline Horowitz]

Hi James,

     Thank you for taking the time to answer me.  I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your wife.  I hope you are doing better than I am.  I am trying my best to stay well.  I love the idea of the ICU comparison.  It is so true.   I go day by day and sometimes minute by minute.  Keep in touch and thanks,

                                                                                       Jackie

                                                                   

[james ball]

Hi jackie

I wished I could take your pain away just take second be second day by day one day at a time

james  take good care of your self cause this grief affects every cell in our body

you want to talk about we can meet in the chat room

james

[Suzanne Verdugo]

Hello Jacqueline,
I lost my husband 4 months ago, and I miss him so much. He was my best friend, my confidant- we planned to grow old together. I understand your pain, it is so hard, but I try each day to get out of bed take a shower and try to eat something. I talk to him still all the time and snuggle with his clothing and I ask him to give me strength. We talked deeply when he entered hospice and he made me promise not to wallow in grief, but to go out and do things for myself, fun things. But I can talk to you anytime. Just let me know.
Take Care,
Suzanne

[Katharine Timmer]

Hi...my husband didn't die but abandoned his family...i miss what we had and loved him very much...i haven't seen or heard from him since and it's been three months.  Can anyone else relate?  It feels like a kind of death.

[Suzanne Verdugo]

No Katharine,
It is not the same, because you can still call him, and see him. I would give anything to hear, feel, talk, see, my husband.
I'm sorry for your loss.

[Jacqueline Horowitz]

Hi -Thanks to you all for taking the time to respond.  We all seem to feel pretty much the same.  It seems we all have no choice but to tolerate (best we can) the pain we must go through.  People say it will get better-and ll I think is when?  I find the nights and the weekends the worst.  I understand now what broken-heart-syndrome is.  G-d be with you all.  

[Katharine Timmer]

Suzanne Verdugo said:

No Katharine,
It is not the same, because you can still call him, and see him. I would give anything to hear, feel, talk, see, my husband.
I'm sorry for your loss.

Actually, it can be worse on some levels, Suzanne...i do NOT know what has happened to him and will never see him again.  The betrayal is horrendous.  I have suffered numerous deaths of those close to me but disappearance combined with betrayal is the worst.  Not to mention the overwhelmimg grief...

[Kathy scott]

Hi Jacqueline. I lost my husband June 4th 2016. Yes it is torture, just take a day at a time. Give yourself time. Talk about it I think it helps. Write me anytime I am willing to listen.

[Ellen Wolfe]

Hi. I'm feeling exactly the same. 4 months in. Sudden loss. 2 kids. I was a stay at home mom and am now about to start working full time. My son turns 17 on Friday and I can't stop crying because I can't imagine celebrating anyone's birthday without him. It seems to be getting harder not easier. Does anyone feel that way too? Plus no one else in my life really gets what we are going through. Hang in there everyone and I will try to do the same

[Katharine Timmer]

Ellen Wolfe said:

Hi. I'm feeling exactly the same. 4 months in. Sudden loss. 2 kids. I was a stay at home mom and am now about to start working full time. My son turns 17 on Friday and I can't stop crying because I can't imagine celebrating anyone's birthday without him. It seems to be getting harder not easier. Does anyone feel that way too? Plus no one else in my life really gets what we are going through. Hang in there everyone and I will try to do the same

[Katharine Timmer]

Did your husband pass away, Ellen, or leave? I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I'm here if you ever need to talk.