Lost my mother to suicide in August.

[Shayna]

Most days are good but then there are the days when I think about how much I'll never be able to share with my mother. I was given part of her ashes and I am at an impasse because I simply do not know what to do with them. I don't really know what I want from this site, mostly just to talk to others who have experienced loss like I have I guess.

[Lulu]

I experienced a different type of loss. I feel in general the pain is the same all tho the grief is different . I personally think its a honor to have the ashes you could place them in a specal place your mom enjoyed . For example if it was my mom i keep them in a beautiful urn in our home and place fresh flowers in a vase near by, Mom enjoys flowers. Maybe you would prefer to scatter them in a area she loved. I hope to see you soon in chat talking does help ease the pain. 

[Rachel Cooper]

Shayna,

I lost my Mom/ Aunt to suicide at the beginning of November.  Guess I joined this site for the same reason you did.

[maryellenmcquown]

i am so sorry for the loss of your mom i lost min 4 years ago and it is so hard

[Ted Scherff]

Hi Shayna,

My sympathy. The loss of a loved one is beyond words. I have heard fro many people that suicide is a horrendous impact upon the family. As someone who uses this site with sime regularity, I do hope you can find a little comfort fromt he people who use the site.

Most Sincerely,

Ted

[Vivienne Krestwood]

My mother began her second divorce when I turned 8. She had a son in this marriage and became extremely depressed. The divorce happened due to mental problems arising in her. She then started drugs and became addictive to illegal and prescribed drugs. I remember seeing her with bags full of pills she would take and she would sleep all day. I was very lonely because it was just her and I. She started going in and out of rehab and mental institutions (which I didn't exactly understand at the time). Finally after moving out because she was abusing me, she tried cleaning up. Through out those years she repeatedly tried killing herself, which broke my heart and angered me at the same time because I wondered, "why am I not enough for her to want to stay?" When I was 12, she was almost clean, but her friend gave her access to her pills which caused her to get extremely messed up. She fell that night because she had so much in her system and a blood clot broke, instantly killing her. I am now 16 and deal with the death every day feeling cheated that I don't get to live my childhood and teenage life with her while other young girls can. I received her ashes and I also did not know what to do with them. I ended up putting some in a necklace which broke at school on the ground that every body was walking on (I was horrified!!!!!!!) I have an erne that I keep but I just can't find myself to look at it... I understand you 100%.... if you would like to talk I am here just message me.