The closer it gets to the one year anniversary of my husbands death the worse i get.....I have buried my grief many times over even pushed myself into a relationship months after he was gone because i couldn't bare the thought of being alone.....I have lost my way I try to maintain my life and have tried to get myself back...but i can i have lost numerous jobs failed going back to school....no matter what i do i just cant overcome this....I feel like im living in a false reality where…