Missing my brother

[Esther]

In May 2014, my life changed forever, I loss my brother, my only sibling. He went missing and his body recovered 3 days later from lake. I go there often, just look out upon the water and talk out loud, maybe G-D is listening. Though people say it's not your fault, I still feel after these yrs, that it was, I failed my brother. I miss my brother and almost can't believe that he's not here anymore. You read/hear about missing people and feel for their families that they come home safe, but when it actually happens to you, words can't describe the feeling. Sometimes I question life, there are 3 things in my life right now that I have a responsibility for and if I didn't have them 3 things, I wouldn't have a reason to live. Who would I really matter to, my immediate family is practically gone, one family member still here. I miss my brother