GriefHope

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My dad died but I seem to have lost both parents

My dad passed suddenly this past January. It’s been understandable that my mom (married to My dad for 51 years) has been grieving. About 2 months ago, she started dating someone. I’m trying to be understanding but I can’t help but feel disgusted and hurt. As I’m dealing with the loss of my dad, my mom has been absent emotionally in my life. I get that I’m an adult but I just can’t help but want my mom to be there for me. So now I’m trying to accept the loss of a relationship with her. What makes matters worse is that my mom and I are neighbors. She hasn’t bothered to even talk to me at all, not just about her new friend, but she seems to be avoiding me. I’m at a loss as to how to move on.

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Comment by Regina Diana Reed on December 30, 2019 at 5:46am
Tia, I know this is hard for you and your mother right now. we all grieve in different ways.I think from your mothers view ,she doesnt want to cause you anymore pain,and is trying to find comfort in someone elses arms. Sometimes we dont really understand where or why we do things, we just do them.Maybe you should approach your mother and ask her if you both could talk and see where that goes.maybe go out to breakfast or lunch, or a girls day out. just something for the two of you to share together.I know as a mother I would do anything not to cause my son any pain, or burden. she may feel the same way. I wish you many blessings,and Im always around in here if you ever want to talk. take care of yourself and all things will fall into place when the time is right. a friend...gina:)
Comment by Edward Janne on January 14, 2020 at 9:32am

Hi Tia, I lost my husband of 28 years last month and miss him so much. Not being able to hug him or feel his arms around me is unbearable. I now look at other couples in love with a new envy and jealousy that is so unlike me. And sometimes I just yearn for someone to hold me and cradle me while I sob. I’m a 52 year old man, but my inner child is in need of some tenderness because he has been traumatized. It may be difficult for you to view your mother as anyone else but your mother, but none of us really loose our child selves just by the virtue of “becoming an adult.” Please reach out to your mother without judgement and hold her tenderly and supportively, let her experience her grief in her own way, and do not begrudge her any joy or comfort that she might find in these hard times.

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