Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

And I hate Parkinson's Disease. It has stolen so much from me. My brother was only 46. He was young. And we should be planning a family vacation not his funeral. I don't know how to start processing this one. My dad passed 8 months ago and my mom 11 months before that. How do I put into words the pain I'm in. That agony I feel to know the pillars and strength of my family is gone. His ashes came today. And all I want to do is ignore the fact that this happened. I don't want to feel. I am angry, pissed I am sad and so devastated. I feel 60 millions things every single minute. How do I start processing this. I want to scream. I want to break something. I want to throw up. Mostly I want to cry. But I don't know how. If I start crying for real I will never stop. I have been crying for the last two years. How? Where do I start?

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I think we start by crying and taking in all the emotions that comes with not having our loved ones with us. I think its necesarry for us to feel all these emotions to move on and continue with our lives. Its not an easy journey the family you had all your life is gone. Its the biggest heartbreak of all times. It defiently proves our strength. You need to hold on tight and lock in the memories and try to live your life too try and have some peace because they are at peace . Your life matters too take care of it like they would have wanted you to. 

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