And I hate Parkinson's Disease. It has stolen so much from me. My brother was only 46. He was young. And we should be planning a family vacation not his funeral. I don't know how to start processing this one. My dad passed 8 months ago and my mom 11 months before that. How do I put into words the pain I'm in. That agony I feel to know the pillars and strength of my family is gone. His ashes came today. And all I want to do is ignore the fact that this happened. I don't want to feel. I am angry, pissed I am sad and so devastated. I feel 60 millions things every single minute. How do I start processing this. I want to scream. I want to break something. I want to throw up. Mostly I want to cry. But I don't know how. If I start crying for real I will never stop. I have been crying for the last two years. How? Where do I start?