Recently, I found myself sitting clear through the credits of a movie I had just seen and I laughed out loud.  Anyone sitting near me (and there were a couple even though it was a midweek matinee), would, I am sure, think they had missed something funny.  I laughed because I was scanning the names as they rolled by—looking for the name of one of my sons.  I know, that seems a really strange thing to do, but it has an explanation.  My husband had this theory, that if we saw the names of our…

“So, what are you doing for self-care?” asked the therapist.  Whoa, wait, what?  I’m out here dodging the minefield that is grief work and she wants to know what I’m doing to take care of myself?  What does that even mean?  Am I sleeping? Am I eating right?  Do I get any exercise? What am I doing to connect with other people?  I know it was a question that came from a place of genuine concern and caring but it hit me like a bombshell.  Another one. 

This whole journey is like learning…

When we are small, infants really, one of the major tasks we have to master is the concept of object permanence.  This means that a baby has to learn that, just because something or someone is out of sight, doesn’t mean that it or they no longer exist.  This is a major accomplishment towards the goal of establishing trust and security.  I got to thinking about that recently.  What does that mean and what can I learn from that?

No matter whether or not you believe in heaven or some…

Eight months ago, my husband gave me a gift.  It wasn't a gift that I asked for, wanted, or was even willing to accept until just now.  You see, he died.  Very suddenly and unexpectedly.  A blood clot to the lung, they told me.

What kind of a gift is that?  We weren't unhappy - quite the opposite.  We had a 30 year, mostly happy marriage.  I say "mostly" because no one is perfectly happy.  If they say they are, they are lying.  We had struggles, financial and emotional, as couples…