Heartbroken

[arielle]

Hello everyone. I found this site after googleing various sites that had chat rooms to help me with grief. Lately I have been going through the hardest time of my life. I just turned 25 two days ago, and I have two beautiful little girls that I am trying to be strong for, although it seems impossible. On December 16, 2014 my husband of 6 years took his own life, following our separation due to marital problems. At first I was so angry with him, because I felt like that was so selfish of him to do. I also felt like I was robbed my chance to grieve because right after it happened his family immediately put the blame of his death on me, which hurt so bad but I knew I had to stand up for myself, but as this past month sailed by, I have forgiven him, which hurts me so much more, because now I sit and think about everything that occurred leading up to his death, I do feel like I am a big part of the blame. I never meant for him to do this, but at the time we had so much going on that I felt forced to leave him and not even two weeks later is when he did it. Apart of me just feels like I gave up on him way to soon and I am truly sorry for that. I just wish I knew how to deal with all the pain that I am going through so that I can be the strong mother my girls deserve. Anyways thanks for listening.

[maryellenmcquown]

IT IS NOT NOT YOUR FAULT  HOS FAMILY IS SO WRONG TO BLAME YOU 

[Katie]

We can spend our life wondering why but in the long run you'll never know and it seems easier to put the blame on someone when u need a reason why

[Lulu]

This is not your fault in anyway or form and for the family to put this on your heart is extremely selfish. He was a grown man and made his decision. His family is grieving too and when you feel this way people tend to blame themselves or others. In time they will realize this wasn't your fault. Problems happen in every marriage everyday, he made his choice.  You didn't give up on him he gave up on him. You took a step back from your marriage to see things clear, that is not giving up. 

At this point you cant deal with the pain. But I could tell with time and prayer you will heal and move forward and be the strong woman you are. Take care of those little girls and yourself.

[Shon Fults]

I know how you feel. My wife was 32 when she died of a drug overdose. Her family blamed me and even turned my wife's kids against me. I was so hurt. It bothered me so bad I started believing it was my fault. It's been a lil over a year since she died but I don't blame myself anymore. She made the mistake. I was mad at her for a long time for leaving me here to suffer. Thinking she should have known better but when all said and done I couldn't have stopped her. I hope you can find peace