Hi Jason let me start by saying I am so sorry for your loss.  Although I don't know exactly how you feel I can tell you I lost my dad only a month ago. I at times feel like you but I do believe it is a defense mechanism.  Everyone grieves differently and I think if you feel you are not grieving in a way you are if that makes any sense.  I do have to say also if Im going about my day as if everything is all fine and good a wave hits me and WOW, I use this expression over and over its choking. I don't know how long ago you lost your dad, but I think finding a way to talk like you are doing will help.  Prayers and thoughts with you!!!!!!!!!!!

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Gratefully,
Judy Davidson
Founding Member