GriefHope

Help for today & Hope for tomorrow

April 2015 Blog Posts (9)

Missing my Baby Girl

5 months yesterday and still the pain feels the same. Is there no relief?  So many unanswered questions and feelings I don't know how to handle. How does one get beyond the loss of a child. Mine was 23 and my Baby Girl.

Added by Jodie Baczkowski on April 30, 2015 at 3:42pm — 2 Comments

why

WHY GOD DO U H A T E US SO MUSH I FEAL LK HIT U I DO ITS COZ OF SO MUSH F@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@KN LOSS U DID UV GOT ME 2 SWEAR 

IM SO LOSS IN SEA COZ OF LOSS I FEALS SO LOSS IN SEA COZ OF LOSS NOT 1 LOSS 2 MUSH LOSS…

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Added by dreammoon jo on April 28, 2015 at 2:18pm — 5 Comments

Hiding in Plain Sight

Recently, I found myself sitting clear through the credits of a movie I had just seen and I laughed out loud.  Anyone sitting near me (and there were a couple even though it was a midweek matinee), would, I am sure, think they had missed something funny.  I laughed because I was scanning the names as they rolled by—looking for the name of one of my sons.  I know, that seems a really strange thing to do, but it has an explanation.  My husband had this theory, that if we saw the names of our…

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Added by Brenda Hoskins on April 28, 2015 at 6:30am — No Comments

Foxholes and Pedicures

“So, what are you doing for self-care?” asked the therapist.  Whoa, wait, what?  I’m out here dodging the minefield that is grief work and she wants to know what I’m doing to take care of myself?  What does that even mean?  Am I sleeping? Am I eating right?  Do I get any exercise? What am I doing to connect with other people?  I know it was a question that came from a place of genuine concern and caring but it hit me like a bombshell.  Another one. 

This whole journey is like learning…

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Added by Brenda Hoskins on April 23, 2015 at 6:30am — No Comments

Object Permanence

When we are small, infants really, one of the major tasks we have to master is the concept of object permanence.  This means that a baby has to learn that, just because something or someone is out of sight, doesn’t mean that it or they no longer exist.  This is a major accomplishment towards the goal of establishing trust and security.  I got to thinking about that recently.  What does that mean and what can I learn from that?

No matter whether or not you believe in heaven or some…

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Added by Brenda Hoskins on April 18, 2015 at 6:30am — No Comments

missing my brother

On January 19th I lost my best friend, my brother to a seizure in his sleep. I went to his house every weekend to play cards and get our kids together. I called at least 3 times a week. He was the only one who understood me. We always laughed so hard together and he always knew the right things to say. I miss him so much. I'm either sad or mad anymore. I cry all the time and I'm lost. I put my faith in God but I'm so emotional. I love him so much. Easter was horrible and everyday gets longer…

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Added by sue on April 17, 2015 at 6:26pm — No Comments

everywhere

Her hair on her brush, her toothbrush still on the counter, her weird gourmet sauces in the fridge, her bobbypins

in weird places, her last shopping list in my purse, fingerprints on car mirror, items I pass in the grocery store that I always got for her, things I want to show her, tell her, her footprints I think I hear, the tablets full of her poetry; the

exquisite/sad/tortured poetry, the friends expressing their sorrow that I resent because they had long abandoned her, the…

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Added by Ondene Nash on April 14, 2015 at 10:09pm — 1 Comment

The Gift

Eight months ago, my husband gave me a gift.  It wasn't a gift that I asked for, wanted, or was even willing to accept until just now.  You see, he died.  Very suddenly and unexpectedly.  A blood clot to the lung, they told me.

What kind of a gift is that?  We weren't unhappy - quite the opposite.  We had a 30 year, mostly happy marriage.  I say "mostly" because no one is perfectly happy.  If they say they are, they are lying.  We had struggles, financial and emotional, as couples…

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Added by Brenda Hoskins on April 13, 2015 at 7:33pm — No Comments

Poem I.

If I could turn back the time,

hold you in the arms of mine,

took you away from waiting death

until my last loving breath.



If I could turn back the time,

hold you in my arms till I die,

we could stay as one together

in that snowing frosty weather.



If I could turn back the time,

November is the time of prime,

we would be the warmest kissing,

only you I have been missing.



If I could…

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Added by Janka on April 6, 2015 at 8:58pm — No Comments

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