As I sit here and wonder why did my mom have to die. Why did cancer have to be the reason? I lost my mom Sept 2013 and my aunt Feb. 2014. Yes, that is only 5 months a part. My life has changed so much. There are times it doesn't bother me. Then times where I can't handle my grief. I just want to be able to move on.. To know that I can do this. I have been through the 4 stages of grief. And I am trying to accept the fact that my mom is no longer with me. But it is super hard!

haz any 1 did silly thngs coz of loss or so mush loss

or gon 2 bad habits lk smokin drinkin or eatin foood its bad for us…

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Day by Day,

night by night.

I still wonder why?

I still feel like it was to soon,

way to soon.

For you to join others within the moon.

Life now seems broken, and gone...

As if it's no longer worth going on, 

but I know you'd cry.

If I to suddenly died...

I will not cause you heart ache,

so I will indeed stay.

But just know my heart will always bleed,

My soul will be broken in two.

For as long as…

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A single Red Rose,

it grew once wild and free.

No one takes notice in it's beauty,

no one but me.

For this is the rose,

that has been placed into my shaky hand.

I feel the pain beginning to grow once again,

as I clutch it close.

I do not want to let it go,

but I drop it into the hole.

With tears streaming down,

I watch the beautiful Red Rose.

As it falls into a tragically beautiful grave.  

I'm still here in the dark,

awaiting for your light... which may never come.

I'm still here reaching out,

hoping I'll find you somewhere near.

I'm still here with the tears forever streaming down,

I feel your hand that was once warm...Is now cold....

I'm still here crying even harder now,

as you move my hand upon a smooth rock....

I'm still here....

But you have…

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I am really hurting. I do have a lot of support from my children but I do not burden them with this. My husband passed of cancer on Aug 1 2014 and I was visiting his grave site on Aug 1 2015  when I got a call to come to see my sister right away. My son drove me the two hour drive to be with her for the last time. I spent the night with her, she was still awake but had the death rattle so bad you could hear it all over the house. She ask me to get in bed with her so she could comfort me...…

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Her eyes once shinned brighter than the moon,

but no one has noticed that the light has faded.

Her smile was once a beautiful thing,…

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