It's difficult going through rough times. It's even more difficult feeling like the rough times are not times but life. A rough life. Ever since 2012 I haven't had a home. My parents and I just go from house to house- my aunt's, my uncle's, my grandma's. It's so hard being a teenager and not be able to have my own space. Sharing a tiny room with my mother- the same bed. It's depressing not being able to have friends over because there's not even room for me in the house I'm in. My world is…

Once I looked into your beautiful eyes,

and thought the world was full of life.

But that was all just lies,

because your beautiful eyes no longer stare into mine.

This beautiful world once held so much color,

but the colors seemed to have washed away.

And the world around me is dark and grey.

I only wish to see the color through those

beautiful eyes again. 

To see a world in which I once loved,

and a place…

I look up to, the beautiful night sky

and I simply wonder why.

As if like a video tape,

my mind begins to rewind.

Back to the old times we used to share;

all the laughter that was once there.

All those memories we lived,

they will always be in my mind.

But one memory to painful to bare.

Is the one in which I saw you disappear.

The last breath you took,

sent my life into an instant despair.

I…

The air I breathe is now to stale and has no life,

the Sun holds no warmth for me as it once did so long ago.

These beautiful days that we once shared only bring pain and tears.

All because what once brought it life, is gone beyond my reach.

The smile that plays upon my lips is fake, 

but it's to hide the tears I wish to cry.

The laughter that I force,

is to hide the screams within my mind.

My throat tightens as…

To my fellow Grief Hope Members,

Thank you for joining and participating in this site.  I hope it has helped you in your grief recovery journey by communicating with others who are going through a similar experience.  As many of you know, I started this site a few years after my husband passed away in 2004 when my son was 4 years old. My mother went to heaven this past February as well.  God put it on my heart to start a site to help others in need, so I have sincere empathy for what…

haz any 1 did silly thngs coz of loss or so mush loss

or gon 2 bad habits lk smokin drinkin or eatin foood its bad for us…

Day by Day,

night by night.

I still wonder why?

I still feel like it was to soon,

way to soon.

For you to join others within the moon.

Life now seems broken, and gone...

As if it's no longer worth going on, 

but I know you'd cry.

If I to suddenly died...

I will not cause you heart ache,

so I will indeed stay.

But just know my heart will always bleed,

My soul will be broken in two.

For as long as…

A single Red Rose,

it grew once wild and free.

No one takes notice in it's beauty,

no one but me.

For this is the rose,

that has been placed into my shaky hand.

I feel the pain beginning to grow once again,

as I clutch it close.

I do not want to let it go,

but I drop it into the hole.

With tears streaming down,

I watch the beautiful Red Rose.

As it falls into a tragically beautiful grave.  

I'm still here in the dark,

awaiting for your light... which may never come.

I'm still here reaching out,

hoping I'll find you somewhere near.

I'm still here with the tears forever streaming down,

I feel your hand that was once warm...Is now cold....

I'm still here crying even harder now,

as you move my hand upon a smooth rock....

I'm still here....

But you have…

I am really hurting. I do have a lot of support from my children but I do not burden them with this. My husband passed of cancer on Aug 1 2014 and I was visiting his grave site on Aug 1 2015  when I got a call to come to see my sister right away. My son drove me the two hour drive to be with her for the last time. I spent the night with her, she was still awake but had the death rattle so bad you could hear it all over the house. She ask me to get in bed with her so she could comfort me...…

Her eyes once shinned brighter than the moon,

but no one has noticed that the light has faded.

Her smile was once a beautiful thing,…

Wanted: 1 human allotment of joy, gone missing about 10 months ago, deeply missed.  Glimpsed briefly on occasion but darted away again.  If seen, grab it and hold on tightly. 

Joy.  What does it mean?  How do we find it and better question, how to we hang on to it?  A couple of months back, some of my family and I were on a shuttle bus, being transported like cattle from one end to the other of a resort along with a couple of other families.  Most of the riders were lost in their own…

Ever try to zip up a back zipper?  It’s almost impossible.  I mean, I’m sure there is a way to accomplish that but hell if I can figure it out  And now I have this itch in the middle of my back that I cannot reach. For weeks. It’s so annoying.  I’ve stretched and tried to reach it without success.  I’ve used a brush, a kitchen utensil (for those of you who have eaten in my house, don’t worry-the dishwasher has a sanitizer setting), and even rubbed up against a door frame. Like a bear…

This is a difficult time of year; late winter, very early spring when everything is dry and brown.  I’ve never liked it.  I find my eyes scouring the countryside, trees, and ditches, thirsty for a glimpse of green with a kind of desperation.  There is a deep seated need to feel refreshed and reborn.  To see hope manifest.  And the thing is, if you don’t watch carefully, you’ll miss it.  It seems like suddenly, the grass is green, flowers are starting to come up, and the trees are misted with…

I cried on an airplane today. It was humiliating. Why? Why was I crying or why was it humiliating? WTF WTF WTF. I am on a plane to Costa Rica, a place I’ve wanted to visit for many years, and I am alone. I am projecting this secure, accomplished woman sitting in first class sipping wine but, the reality is that I am a very sad, lonely woman who can think about nothing more than the sheer delight of the plane crashing so I can be with him again. Stupid, I know, but I can’t help it. Would I…

Why is a woman looked upon with suspicion (or worse, pity) when she [fill in the blank] by herself.  I don’t mean to assume a victim mentality, but why is it ok for a man to dine by himself, see a movie, or, God forbid, go into a bar and have a drink by himself?  Why is a woman incredibly pathetic or looking for trouble when she does the same thing? 

I am so bored.  Down to my very bone marrow.  Is that completely awful?  I know – I’m supposed to be mourning and don’t ever doubt for a…

Warning!  Flashbacks ahead.  June 8, 2014.  The day dawned, bright and clear in North Dakota.  I was on my way home, having gotten up before the crack of dawn, to begin the last leg of my journey back from a Canadian fishing trip.  I had been gone for over a week, and was anxious to get back home to my husband.  We had spoken on the phone the night before, late, after I got back into the country and settled into my hotel room.  We talked about basically nothing, and our parting words to each…