5 months yesterday and still the pain feels the same. Is there no relief?  So many unanswered questions and feelings I don't know how to handle. How does one get beyond the loss of a child. Mine was 23 and my Baby Girl.

WHY GOD DO U H A T E US SO MUSH I FEAL LK HIT U I DO ITS COZ OF SO MUSH F@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@KN LOSS U DID UV GOT ME 2 SWEAR 

IM SO LOSS IN SEA COZ OF LOSS I FEALS SO LOSS IN SEA COZ OF LOSS NOT 1 LOSS 2 MUSH LOSS…

Recently, I found myself sitting clear through the credits of a movie I had just seen and I laughed out loud.  Anyone sitting near me (and there were a couple even though it was a midweek matinee), would, I am sure, think they had missed something funny.  I laughed because I was scanning the names as they rolled by—looking for the name of one of my sons.  I know, that seems a really strange thing to do, but it has an explanation.  My husband had this theory, that if we saw the names of our…

“So, what are you doing for self-care?” asked the therapist.  Whoa, wait, what?  I’m out here dodging the minefield that is grief work and she wants to know what I’m doing to take care of myself?  What does that even mean?  Am I sleeping? Am I eating right?  Do I get any exercise? What am I doing to connect with other people?  I know it was a question that came from a place of genuine concern and caring but it hit me like a bombshell.  Another one. 

This whole journey is like learning…

When we are small, infants really, one of the major tasks we have to master is the concept of object permanence.  This means that a baby has to learn that, just because something or someone is out of sight, doesn’t mean that it or they no longer exist.  This is a major accomplishment towards the goal of establishing trust and security.  I got to thinking about that recently.  What does that mean and what can I learn from that?

No matter whether or not you believe in heaven or some…

On January 19th I lost my best friend, my brother to a seizure in his sleep. I went to his house every weekend to play cards and get our kids together. I called at least 3 times a week. He was the only one who understood me. We always laughed so hard together and he always knew the right things to say. I miss him so much. I'm either sad or mad anymore. I cry all the time and I'm lost. I put my faith in God but I'm so emotional. I love him so much. Easter was horrible and everyday gets longer…

Her hair on her brush, her toothbrush still on the counter, her weird gourmet sauces in the fridge, her bobbypins

in weird places, her last shopping list in my purse, fingerprints on car mirror, items I pass in the grocery store that I always got for her, things I want to show her, tell her, her footprints I think I hear, the tablets full of her poetry; the

exquisite/sad/tortured poetry, the friends expressing their sorrow that I resent because they had long abandoned her, the…

Eight months ago, my husband gave me a gift.  It wasn't a gift that I asked for, wanted, or was even willing to accept until just now.  You see, he died.  Very suddenly and unexpectedly.  A blood clot to the lung, they told me.

What kind of a gift is that?  We weren't unhappy - quite the opposite.  We had a 30 year, mostly happy marriage.  I say "mostly" because no one is perfectly happy.  If they say they are, they are lying.  We had struggles, financial and emotional, as couples…

If I could turn back the time,

hold you in the arms of mine,

took you away from waiting death

until my last loving breath.



If I could turn back the time,

hold you in my arms till I die,

we could stay as one together

in that snowing frosty weather.



If I could turn back the time,

November is the time of prime,

we would be the warmest kissing,

only you I have been missing.



If I could…

I am not sure if this site is for just people that recently lost loved ones.  I lost my Mother back in 2006 and have been hurting over it.  I am not really sure what the best way to deal with it is anymore.  The hardest part is it was just so sudden.  She had what we thought was the flu then we found out it was much worse and she passed a week after we got her in to the hospital.

I lost my husband in 2014 to cancer we were connected since I was 17 we both moved off remarried. We both divorced and meet up again in 2008 when I came home to take care of my mother. Thats when we started dating and then we grew to truly be soulmate after all these years. We married in 2014 and were so happy even though we knew he was dieing. I miss him so much and the days are so hard to get through somtimes. Hoping and waiting for him to come to me in the night to let me know that he is…

I am wondering if anyone out there feels they have seen or heard from their loved one besides me?  I was shocked to see it in a Catholic Hospice Bereavement Newsletter that physical communication such as flashing lights or sounds, smells are fairly common and recognized by them as fact. I have had my pager turned on, not once, but twice, his alarm clock from work sound without being set, the paper shredder take off on it's own, flashes of light in the dark (and yesterday in the day) where…

Happy Valentines Day in Heaven to my only true love, Rich Smith.  He was a one of a kind man.  He was kind, caring and had compassion for people less fortunate than himself.  He was a wonderful husband and father who always put his family first, even after he was diagnosed with lung cancer.  I left only one xmas lite display on the roof after xmas was over.  they were lights i made in the shape of a heart.  i connected the extension cord today again to light up that heart in honor of him.…

How does this greeting make you feel?  Please share your thoughts

someone message me I have no type of relationship with anyone that I would be comfortable talking about the stuff ive had to go threw with my family lately

I am basically on here to try and see how other people deal with loss as I am doing really badly and constantly feel like I have horrible thoughts running through my head. My gran and granddad were 85 and 87 and they passed away within 6 weeks of each other. It feels so weird typing all of this because I have hardly spoken to anyone close to me about how I am coping.



My granddad was admitted to hospital with a blood clot in his brain after falling but hadn't mentioned to anyone…